On "Giving Yourself Permission"...and a waffle recipe.

This past weekend we barely left our house.

No one was sick.

No one was injured.

We just enjoyed the quiet, laid-back nature of doing very little.

Friday night we had some of our dearest friends over for dinner. They have 3 little boys, so when our boys and their boys get together, it's a night of non-stop giggling. They all get along so well, it allows us adults to really enjoy each others company. We ate and talked and ate and talked and before we knew it, it was almost 9 p.m. and all the kids were up past their bedtimes.

But sometimes, letting the kids stay up a little late because you're having meaningful adult time with awesome people... it's worth it.

Saturday morning I literally didn't get out of my bathrobe until 11:30 a.m. I felt a little guilty about it, but then I remembered something I read recently by the author Aidan Rowley... she said, "Are you giving yourself the permission to do the things you really want to do?"

It resonated with me on many levels. But in this instance, I realized that I was kind of looking to Brian to give me permission to have a lazy morning - making homemade waffles, enjoying a third cup of coffee, learning how to use a Silhouette machine. All things that I really wanted to do.

Of course Brian was perfectly happy with the slow pace of the morning and probably didn't think twice about the fact that I still hadn't brushed my hair by the time he and the boys left to go to Lowe's...I had to stop and tell myself that I was giving myself permission to do something I really wanted to do. No guilt allowed.

And I did.

And it felt great.

Of course I don't live in la-la-land, and by 2 p.m. I had run several loads of laundry, cleaned the floors, run to the grocery store and soothed a 3-year old's meltdown (multiple times). But the point is, I did take some time - some non-mommy guilt time - to do something I wanted to do.

My prayer for you is that you make some margin in your life for the things you really want to do. And then give yourself the permission to do them.

Oh, and those waffles I made on Saturday morning? They were THE BOMB! Seriously.

The recipe is a bit odd. It involves beating the whites of the eggs separately before adding them to the mix, but I think that's what made them so light and fluffy on the inside, yet slightly crisp on the outside.

I'm tellin ya... make them. Your family will thank you. Here's the link to the recipe. Enjoy!
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And for my sweet family that still reads this blog, here's a recent kid photo dump...

I took Parker to the zoo last week with one of his classmates. Although he really enjoyed viewing all of the different animals, he mostly just wanted to play in the water areas. Maybe I'll try the zoo again when he's a bit older. :)

With all of the nice weather lately, we've been trying to take Mocha outside more. She's still not super calm when we bring her out, but I think she enjoys it on some level... at least I hope she does.

This picture makes me realize what similar facial structures the boys have. Same. exact. chins.

We also had the chance to hang out with our good friends in South Tampa who are moving out of state soon. We are so sad to see them go, but have promised to make trips to see each other.

And on that note, I will post one last picture, just because it's funny...

Have a great week everyone...and make sure you get plenty of sleep. ;)

Mom Guilt...And Why I Sometimes Need A Drink at 4 p.m.

We all have it. Us Moms. We all deal with it. We all dish it out. We all heap it upon ourselves.

Mom Guilt.

What's "Mom Guilt" you ask? Well... let me give you a few examples...

Stay-at-home vs. Working out of the house

This type of Mom Guilt works both ways.
If you stay at home, you feel guilty if you're not doing everything "right" and by "right" I mean teaching your children  their "ABC's" and "1, 2, 3's" and playing with them at all times and making sure they get the social interaction they need (other than you) and keeping a clean house, cooking homemade meals, working out, attending that bible study/book club/Bunco group, etc. etc. And when you fall short in one (or all) of these areas... MOM GUILT. And don't even get me started on the guilt that comes along with not contributing to the family income. Guilt, guilt, guilt.

Or... perhaps you work out of the home. Then you feel guilty for not spending enough time with your child during the week, and then when the weekend arrives and you do get 24-hour time with them your so exhausted you're just wishing they would go take another nap so you can get one stinking second to yourself all week. Then you feel guilty for thinking that way. MOM GUILT.


The Playground

You take your kids to the park to PLAY. But they're glued to your side. So you feel bad and walk around with them and play tag with them and stand beside them every second because that's what all the other mom's are doing. MOM GUILT!

Did you know that in Europe (France in particular) moms take their kids to the park and let the kids play while the adults sit on the benches and socialize with their own friends?! What a concept! Allowing the children to interact on their own with other children. Or play in the mulch by themselves?

Not in the U.S. It's much more likely to see a tired mom chasing their toddler around the playground trying desperately to finish a sentence to their friend who is now standing all the way across the playground because we haven't taught our children to "go play!"

How Many Kids?

For me, this question comes along with a lot of emotional baggage. Since it took us almost 6 years to conceive our second child, I was asked, "Are you planning to have more kids?" for YEARS. And of course I heaved a mountain of guilt on myself worrying about Payton potentially being an only child. Why? MOM GUILT! The minute you start having kids, people ask, "So, how many kids do you want?" Is one child not enough? Of course not! I know many, many happy, well-adjusted adults who were only children. But if you have more than one, is there enough love/patience/attention to spread to both? And what about 3 or more kids? Then the Mom Guilt is really piled on, constantly worrying that you're leaving someone out all the time.

And then there's the reverse guilt of this topic. We look at moms who have 6 kids and seem to run their lives so smoothly and we think, "How can she make it look so easy with 6 kids and I can barely manage my two!" MOM GUILT!

Your Marriage

You spend your day trying to meet every need of those around you, and then once the kids are in bed, the dishes are done and you're ready to just. sit. down... you really should make time for your husband who has probably been somewhat neglected from the moment you found out you were pregnant with your first child.

Don't tell him you're "tired" or "have a headache." Those are lame excuses. But if you really told him that you are exhausted  just from being a mom, that just makes it sound like you don't like your kids. MOM GUILT!

Your Life

Run out on a Saturday and leave your hubby with the kids just to get a pedicure? NO WAY!

Shut the door and lock it when you go to the bathroom? FORGET IT. Someone will inevitably be crying on the other side begging you to open it.

Skip out on that exercise class today because you just don't feel like it? NOPE.

Tell your kids to leave you alone for 5 minutes while you sit quietly on the couch and just collect your thought? SINFUL!

MOM GUILT, MOM GUILT, MOM GUILT.

Why do we do it ladies?

Why do we torture our minds and our hearts with all of this guilt?

It's OKAY to let some things slide.

It's OKAY to feel exhausted sometimes and just want to take a break from your life.

It's OKAY to get irritated with your kids. Because even though you LOVE them with every ounce of your being, sometimes they're just plain irritating.

I know this will really strike a bad chord with some people, and I'm okay with that.

I also know that there are a lot of women who read this blog who need to know that all of the guilt we put on ourselves is not okay.

If you've had a really sucky day and work was awful and traffic was terrible and the kids had bad attitudes and your house is a wreck and it's 4 p.m. and you feel like you're going to pull your hair out...

...Step outside. Find a quiet spot to sit. Pour a glass of your favorite beverage (hot tea, coffee, wine, soda, whatever) and remind yourself that you are a strong, beautiful, amazing person who is raising children. Even Oprah says that being a parent is the hardest job on earth! Give yourself some credit people! Being a mom is HARD!

We're all going to make mistakes.

We're all going to fail miserably and then have to say "I'm sorry."

But we can also take pride in our accomplishments.

Your son didn't fart at the dinner table last night? Progress!

Your daughter got dressed this morning after only her 3rd outfit attempt? Congratulations!

You had an intimate "talk" with your husband last night even though you were tired? YOU GO GIRL!

Let's toss out some of the guilt, and instead, raise a glass to the power of being a mom. It's an awesome responsibility and honor that God gives us and I believe we are all capable of being every bit of the mom that we want to be. Let's just all agree that our standards should be a bit more realistic, shall we?

Here's to the moms! Cheers!