Mitten Strings for God

My sister-in-law sent me a book recently. Out of the blue. For no reason at all. I love that about her. She finds something she really enjoys - like a great-smelling candle, or a good book - and she wants to share it. With no intentions of receiving anything in return. I guess that's what it's like to have a sister. Lucky me. :)

This is the book she sent me. It's titled, "Mitten Strings for God - Reflections for Mothers in a Hurry." The title alone intrigued me enough to read it, because really... what mother isn't in a hurry most of the time?

(Sorry for the bad image copied off Amazon.com)

It's a great book. One that I highly recommend, and one that I intend to share with another one of my mama friends very soon. This is the passage that caught my attention last night:

"There is a famed meditation teacher who writes about mindful parenting. He suggests that we think of our children as Zen masters housed in small bodies, who come into our lives to push at all of our fixed ideas. They are our best teachers, he says, and one way or another they will teach us whatever hard lessons we most need to learn."

This idea really struck me because my boys have already begun to push some of my fixed ideas on things. Payton is the constant negotiator. I can tell him 50 times (and post signs in the house) about the fixed rules associated with earning video game time. And yet every day he will suggest something new that he thinks is a great alternative to rules. Here's an example of a typical conversation:

Payton: Mom, can I play the Wii?

Me: No, you haven't earned any electronic time.

Payton: But I already did my chores.

Me: That doesn't earn you electronic time. Read the chart. You need to read and do a math page.

Payton: But it's summertime!

Me: No.

Payton: How about if I read all of my "Piggie & Elephant" books? Will that earn me electronic time?

Me: No. You still need to do a math page.

Payton: What if I read for 30 minutes and play with Parker for 10 minutes?

Me: That's not what the chart says.

Payton: I know, but wouldn't you rather me play with my brother than do a math page? Come on, it's way more important, don't you think???

Me: Oh, okay.

He gets me to change my mind on things that I am determined will not change. This is a silly example, and I'm sure he will teach me a lot more valuable lessons as he continues to mature, but already he is showing me that one lesson I need to learn is "being more flexible." It's something I struggle with as a person, and especially as a parent. And boy, these kids are really teaching me what flexibility is all about!

I saw an Oprah special recently where she interviewed Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka, a famous Hollywood couple, who also happen to be gay. The men shared their experiences with how they told their father's they were gay. One father accepted it right away and sort of always had it in the back of his head that his son was probably gay. The other father (a military man) took a while to accept the news. He had to work through a lot of fixed ideas that he had about someone being "gay." Can you imagine the lessons his son taught him about accepting people for who they are, loving people even if you don't understand - or agree with - their lifestyle, and learning how to change his own fixed ideas? 

I feel in awe sometimes at the huge responsibility that God has given me to be a mother to my two boys. I could view it as "pressure" to raise them the way God wants me to. But instead, I see it as an incredibly opportunity and gift. God is allowing me the privilege to impact the way two human beings view the world. And yet at the same time, He is allowing my children to greatly impact the way I view the world. Every day they teach me something new. Every. Single. Day. I just have be aware of it. Being involved in the lives of children is an amazing thing.

And now... it's time for me to go get my little Zen Master from his crib. I'm ready to learn. Ready to be flexible. Ready for today's lesson!

Thanks again Amanda for the book. And for being an awesome sista!