Some Thoughts On Marriage

This year, Brian and I will celebrate our 13th year of marriage.

And despite the fact that "13" is supposed to be an unlucky number, I happen to feel particularly lucky to be celebrating 13 years.

Not because our marriage is always roses and rainbows - trust me, it's not - but because my generation takes marriage a lot less seriously than generations of the past.


It's so much more common today for couples to decide they are headed for divorce, instead of being willing to see-it-through the not-so-great times in order to get back to what attracted them together in the first place.

Our pastor spoke about marriage last Sunday, and I wanted to share some of his thoughts because even if no one reading this blog needs to hear this, I know I will want to re-read this again at some point and I'll know exactly where to find it!

I hope you will take a moment to read through these quick notes, and then I'll share our own personal "story" at the end...


The theme of the sermon was baseball. He broke down marriage into 4 "Seasons," and then explained why it's worth fighting for your marriage, even when times are tough.

Here are the seasons:

1. The season of "Infatuation." (Spring Training)
This is when there is excitement and optimism for the relationship. You both want to do your best to impress the other one.
The hormones are raging and the "love" that is felt is often times blinding us to reality.
The important thing to acknowledge is...this season is NOT sustainable.
There is no relationship that can live in this "infatuation" season forever. It doesn't see you through the next 30 years.

2. The season of "Reality." (All-Star Break)
The reality season reveals, what infatuation concealed.
We start noticing each others "bad habits." We see each others faults.
Resentment can begin to creep in and we start thinking, "There's something better out there."
This is the most difficult season to get through without giving up.

3. The season of "Re-commitment." (The Surge to the Playoffs)
This season tests your character.
You have to decide to stick it through and re-commit to the marriage.
There has to be a mutual submission in this season, where both spouses are willing to make allowances for each others faults/mistakes/past hurts, etc.
"Each man must love his wife as he does himself, and the wife must respect her husband." - Ephesians 5:33

4. The season of "Blessing." (The Playoffs)
If you can make it through the difficult years - whether its raising a family and the challenges that come with that, or years of financial struggle, or health problems (or all three!) - there is a reward at the other end.
God wants to bless marriages. He wants to bless husbands and wives. He wants to give us peace, prosperity and health. God truly rewards those who commit to their marriage and put Him at the center of it.

Our Story...

Brian and I met in college. I was a senior and he was a junior. It was one of the most unstable times of my life.
I had been dating a guy off and on since high school. He was a wonderful man, but we were not meant to spend our lives together. And as much as we tried to make things work, all we ever did was end up fighting.
So when I met Brian, he was so different from the guy I had been dating, he was totally mezmerizing to me.
I immediately feel into the infatuation season. Hard.

Fast forward three years and we were standing at the alter in front of all our friends and family committing to spending the rest of our lives together.
It seems so incredible to me now, that at that tender age of 25 I was ready to make that kind of commitment. In reality, I probably wasn't. But I was head-over-heels in love and totally infatuated with him, that I would have done whatever it took to be able to sleep in the same bed with him and wake up next to him every single day.

The first few years were wonderful.
We were both making great money.
We bought a house.
We bought cars.
Life was good.

Then we tried to start a family.
It took a lot longer than we expected, but we were eventually successful.

Then everything started to get tough.
I didn't recognize it while we were going through it. But looking back now, I can see the beginning of the "Season of Reality."

We moved to Tampa when I was pregnant with our first child.
We left everything we knew - my parents, our friends, our church - in Orlando.
We didn't know a soul.
It was an incredibly lonely time for me.
Then we had sweet Payton.
He was perfect. He was my world.
I focused everything on him, and very little on my husband... who was now also dealing with a crashing housing market and losing most of our income.

Brian and I were living under the same roof together, and yet we were so alone.
He didn't want to worry me about the finances, and I didn't want to tell him how miserable I was without my friends and family.

Fast forward a few years and we started trying for baby #2.

Fast forward 4 years of bank-breaking fertility treatments, emotionally-draining medical procedures, a completely bottomed-out housing market, having no money for anything, and desperate for the "black cloud" to be lifted.

Then we got pregnant.

Then we lost the baby.

Then I slipped into depression.

No money. No pregnancy. A job hanging on by a thread. And a marriage that had been so difficult for so many years, we barely recognized it anymore.

Enter, the "Season of Recommitment."

We went to counseling. Initially for me, but turned out we needed it for the marriage.

I remember the counselor saying to Brian, "You need to BE with her. Not just listen. But BE there with her in her pain."

It was a real turning point for us.

We both decided we wanted to turn things around.

We were tired of the years of doctors telling us when, how many times and what time of day to be "intimate." Our sex life had lost all of its luster.

We were done with trying to do life on our own. We needed a support system. We needed Christian friends and Godly counsel.

Fast forward another year and little Parker was born.

Fast forward a couple more years and the housing market has finally turned around and Brian now runs his own mortgage company.

Our life has stabilized. We've found our groove. We've found true happiness and joy with each other again. And we've found that we absolutely cannot make our marriage work unless God is at the center of it.

As I said, not every day is roses and rainbows. We have our fair share of arguments. He still does things that drive me NUTS (like rubbing his feet on the carpet or separating out his egg whites - sorry honey, I had to document that) and money doesn't come easy. But we know that despite the differences and annoyances and struggles, we're in it for the long haul.

I have no doubt that 13 years in, I love Brian so much more now than I did the day we got married. I never would have thought it possible back then. But I do. He is everything and more than I ever dreamed he would be back on that alter 13 years ago.

We want God to honor our marriage, because we're honoring Him through it.

We want the "Season of Blessing."

If you're looking for a great resource to start some healthy discussions in your own marriage, please take 10 minutes with your spouse and each of you take the Love Language Quiz by visiting this web site: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/
If you find it valid, I encourage you to read the book, "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.

And if you want to take it even further, I cannot tell you how important it is to plug into a small group at a local church with other married couples.
It is life-changing.
I promise you that.

Easter 2014 Re-Cap

It's the week after Easter and I have a bit of a "Holiday Hangover" if you will.

I don't know if it's the fact that all of the anticipation and excitement for Easter is over... or the fact that there's not another holiday in the near future to start looking forward to.

I'm a holiday junkie. I have issues.

Thankfully, I have lots of wonderful pictures from Easter to look through that make me smile.

Easter morning started off bright and early, as we suspected it would. Payton was awake by 6:15 so we pulled him into our bed and read the Easter story with him from his kids Bible. Then we prayed together thanking God for his forgiveness and sacrifice and for the promise of eternal life. It was all very peaceful and beautiful.

Then Parker woke up.

And mass chaos broke out.

The boys were running from room to room grabbing plastic eggs and stuffing them into their fancy plastic Publix shopping bags (their Easter baskets were still hidden).

The picture is blurry, but the look on his face was so priceless. He was so happy & proud of himself for finding eggs.

Payton found the special "Golden Egg" again this year. But from the looks of Parker's expression, it may be the last year Payton hangs on to that accomplishment. :)

And once all (at least all that we could remember) of the eggs were found, the boys went looking for their baskets. Once those were discovered... oh boy... the sugar consumption began!

Yes, he immediately ate the ears off that poor chocolate bunny. Can't blame him, Lindt is the best.

I didn't say anything to any of the boys in the house (including Brian) about buying the kids matching Easter outfits again this year. Much to my surprise and happiness, no one gave me any grief about it!

I mean come on... how cute are they?!?

We all attended church and then came back to our house for brunch. Brian's parents also joined us, which was so wonderful to have both sets of parents/grandparents there to celebrate such a special holiday.

The only bad thing about hosting, is that I was so wrapped up in prepping, cooking and serving the food, that I forgot to take any pictures of brunch. So, you'll just have to trust me that all of the food, including the asparagus tart was delicious, the mimosas served in Brian's late grandparents crystal champagne flutes were beautiful, and the table centerpiece with the home-grown grass and colorfully dyed eggs was adorable.

In the end, the day was filled with family...

 

 

...and really, what else could you ask for?

Happy Easter everyone.

Last-Minute Gift Ideas - {FREE} Easter Gift Tags

Today, I'm here to help you save the day with a couple of last-minute gift ideas.

There's nothing like that awful feeling when you realize your child has a birthday party in 30 minutes the next day and you forgot to buy a gift. My go-to option is usually an Amazon gift card that you can print at home (thank you Amazon.com - you have saved me on many occasions!).

But if you want to make it look like you spent a lot more time on the gift - when really you didn't - give this idea a whirl next time you're in a pinch:

Here's what you need:

1. Empty soda/water bottle (I used a large Dasani water bottle)
2. A piece of tissue paper
3. Some ribbon
4. Cash
5. Double-sided tape
6. A piece of paper that says "Happy Birthday" - I printed mine off of Google Images, but your child could color it and it would add even more personalization.

For assembly simply tape the "Happy Birthday" sign around the bottle, stuff it with some tissue paper, and then the cash (crinkle it a bit before stuffing). Then replace top, and tie some ribbon around the neck of the bottle. Voila!

I cannot tell you how many comments I got when I arrived at the birthday party with this gift. So many of the moms said, "Oh wow! What a great idea!" And most of the boys said, "Dude! Look at all that money you got!?!?" In reality, it was only $10, but it looks quite impressive when it's all stuffed together like that.

The other idea I wanted to share is for a last-minute teacher Easter gift.

 I picked up these metal containers from the Target Dollar spot, as well as the crinkled paper Easter "grass." I also purchased these Lindt chocolates in a 4-pack, so I had enough for all 4 of the kids' teachers. The Cadbury chocolate eggs were also a $1 each. So, each gift cost around $3-$4 a piece.

The adorable gift tags are available for download here at Lollylane.com.

The rest of this week is quite busy for us with parties, sports activities, family in town and of course... Easter! If I don't make it back before then, I hope that each of you has a special time of remembrance and celebration this weekend.

He is risen! He is risen, indeed!

'Frozen' Pre-K Learning Printables and More...

If you have small children, you no doubt sing the words:

"Conceal don't feel, don't let them knoooooooooow; Well, now theeeey knooooooooow...Let it Go! Let it Go!" 

...in your sleep.

Like it or not, Frozen has become the highest grossing animated film of all time (raking in more than $1.07 billion - that's Billion with a B!). So if our kids are going to be obsessed with the movie, then we as parents might as well capitalize on it by integrating it into their learning.

I found a wonderful free printable "Frozen Pre-K Pak" on the web site Over The Big Moon.

 

It includes 27 pages of great Pre-K skills such as matching, cutting, letter practice and so much more. It always shocks me when someone creates something so wonderful like this and then gives it away for FREE! Love it!

The same website also had some fun Frozen coloring pages available here. I know Parker will love doing these.

And in case Frozen REALLY isn't your thing, the wonderful ladies at Over The Big Moon have also created a Pre-K Pak for the Lego Movie! Available for FREE here.

Okay, so now that you're completely out of printer ink, here are some of my other favorite learning web sites for kids...

Starfall

This web site allows little ones to practice their phonics, read along to stories, dress up characters, and celebrate various holidays. This was one of Payton's favorite sites when he was first beginning to read.

National Geographic Kids

I love this site because my kids often want to know more about specific animals. Like yesterday, Parker wanted to know what a baby chick sounded like. Or if frogs like to jump on people. This web site has just about everything you need to know about animals and so much more. The "Cool Clicks" link on the homepage is always a fun place to explore as well.

Wonderopolis

I just recently discovered this site and it always intrigues me when I visit. For example, one of the topics on the site today was, "Why do I have bad breath in the morning?" This is one that I think I'm going to make Payton read so he remembers to brush!

That was just a quick sampling, and I'm sure you have many sites that you and your kids love as well. I'd love to hear about them if you would like to share. Please leave me a comment and let me know.

Speaking of learning...I have to run and help out my big boy with his homework. Have a great weekend everyone! And don't forget... "Love is an open dooooooooor....with you, with you..." (Sorry, more lyrics from Frozen, just in case you don't have every song memorized. :)

Phone Photo Dump

If you follow me on Instagram, this post may feel like the movie "Groundhog Day" because I'm basically just re-posting my photos with a bit of explanation behind each one.

Mostly, I am doing this because I don't want to forget these daily, common moments that make up my life.

I want to document them. Save them here in my virtual scrapbook, so I can revisit them when the kids are older. So, if it seems a little repetitive...it is. Sorry. At least I know the grandparents will enjoy seeing all of these photos again. ;)

I've been working hard at my 2014 Goal to "Be More Appreciative."

I'm trying not to let the little things pass by without giving them proper notice and appreciation.

For instance, last week Parker and I stopped at the park on our way home from an early-morning class at the YMCA. We were the only ones there. The park was totally quiet except for some rowdy squirrels playing tag amongst the trees.

I took a moment to capture it in a photo...

I so appreciated that moment.

I thanked God for the opportunity to stay home with my babies. For the quiet morning at the park with my little guy. For the crisp morning air and the warm sunshine that was just breaking through the tall pine trees.

That moment, as common as it may have been, was one that I wanted to acknowledge and be grateful for it's beauty.

So while many of my Instagram photos may seem like ordinary, mundane moments in life...sometimes those are the ones that leave the biggest impact on my heart.

Here's the rest of my photo dump...

My "Easter Lilies" are sprouting up from the ground. My mother informed me that they aren't actually called "Easter" lilies, but that's just what our family always called them because they bloom around Easter time (and because my mom posed me and my brother in front of them every Easter morning for a picture). Well, I can assure you that my kids will also come to know these as Easter lilies... because that's what they'll always be to me.

I was so shocked last week when Parker called to me from the living room where he had been happily playing with Play Doh and said, "MAMA! I made a P for Parker!"

It's amazing what their little minds can do. I was a proud mommy to say the least!

I took the boys and a couple of our neighbors out for ice cream on Friday. I love making memories like this for the kids. Of course now Parker keeps asking when we can do it again. "Very soon, little man...very soon."

We ended up playing with said neighbors well into the evening that same day. Gotta love laid-back Fridays. The sunset was so pretty that evening. I wanted to capture it in a picture with Payton, but mostly I just got the two of us in the photo. Oh well. I'd much rather have a photo of my increasingly-older-looking 9-year old anyhow.

The rest of the weekend, I spent by myself.

Yep, you read that correctly.

Brian took the boys to his parents and spent the weekend with them and I got the whole house to myself!!! It was so relaxing and mind-clearing. I really needed it. But by Sunday afternoon, I missed those boys something terrible! I was very happy to have my loud, crazy house back to normal that evening.

Thanks so much to my hubby and my in-laws for giving me a weekend to relax. It was very special and I am very appreciative!

Easter Roundup {FREE printables, crafts, recipes & more!}

Easter is just around the corner, and besides being one of the most important holidays on the Christian calendar, I love everything that Easter stands for: Renewal, rebirth, resurrection...it's a time for clearing out the cobwebs of life and starting fresh.

Whether that means something deep like asking for forgiveness (or forgiving someone else); or changing a bad habit like gossip or negative self-talk.; or something as simple as buying all new underwear and tossing the holey stuff taking up room in your drawer. Okay, maybe that's not so much "renewal or rebirth" but sometimes freshening up a space in your house or adding a few new "Spring-y" items to your wardrobe can really usher in the new season.

Today, I wanted to share with you some easy, realistic, Easter crafts, projects and recipes that I am planning to do in the coming weeks. I hope you'll join me in one or all of them and let me know how they turned out.

First up on the agenda, are some simple crafts for kids.

Grow Your Own Easter Grass

 

I know this is something that many schools do around this time of year, but I've never attempted it at home. I found this great blog post on "How Does She?" about it recently that gave links to the specific grass seed you need in order to do this. (P.S. I asked at least 5 people at Lowe's yesterday and no one had any clue what I was talking about, so I ordered it from Amazon instead).

I think it will be a great science experiment for the boys, but I am also planning to use it as a centerpiece for my Easter brunch table. BAM! Two-things-in-one. Love it.

Next up, how cute are these free Easter gift printables from Lil Luna?!

They have them for neighbors, teachers, friends and more. They come in a variety of colors, and really...who doesn't love Reese's eggs???
I've already made a batch of these for our beloved neighbors, and plan to make more for the boys' teachers as well.

And how about this adorable - EASY - craft for the kiddos...



All you do is paint your child's palm and 4 fingers (leaving the thumb clean) with white paint. Stamp their hand on a pastel piece of paper (or in this case, a canvas) and then paint or draw the bunny details on when the hand print is dry. Super simple, and so cute!
I am going to make these for the grandparents and write "Some Bunny Loves You" at the top of the page.

This craft idea is more for the toddler crowd, although the big kids may have fun making more intricate designs with the Q-tips:

You can get all the details here at the fun blog titled, "No Time for Flashcards." 

Okay, let's move into the Easter brunch category...

Centerpiece Ideas

This one uses dyed eggs to hold the flowers in place.

And this one uses jellybeans. Adorbs!

 Easter Recipes

How mouth-watering does this ham asparagus strata recipe look? Mmmmm...

 These mini cinnamon rolls look so heavenly. I'm just worried that I'd eat 20 of them.

What I love about this recipe is that it uses store-bought dough. Can you say, time saver!?!

 

 This cheesy, bacon, potato casserole is popping up all over Pinterest. I wonder if I should test it out...

  

I hope I've given you some fun, yet not complicated, ideas for Easter. But most importantly, let's not forget what we're celebrating on this special holiday. This beautifully designed printable is available for free here from the talented folks at AKA Designs. I think it would make a wonderful statement piece framed with a simple candle lit in front of it.

Happy Easter everyone!
Have a fabulous weekend.